Today we had a gathering with a group of women I have been meeting with for the last 5 years. I often think of them as my circle of mothers. We sit in a circle and share our deepest and darkest as well as our inspiring and highest self. We often have group intentions that can involve one member of the group or a social, environmental, or spiritual issue that has come up and is affecting our community or the planet. It is a gathering that is spiritual in nature, involves ceremony and meditation, but is very real and tangible at the same time. I feel the power of our group is immense and that we are doing work together that we don’t even realize!
It has brought me an unbelievable amount of comfort and support and inspired my music SO much. I highly suggest this for men and women, to gather and share. A great way to start and understand this further is to read the millionth circle guidelines to understand the nature of this sort of thing if you haven’t tried it before. There is a very cool hypothesis regarding doing circles like this which is also above via the Hundredth Monkey theory – “When a critical number of people change how they think and behave, a new era will begin” – sort of like a tipping point to an era of authenticity, peace, and cooperation would be my goal for participating in these, in addition to personal growth.
Today we talked about one situation in particular that someone is having with their son and one of the other women suggested that she ask her son how he wants to be “listened to”. Now, this may sound a little foreign if you haven’t done landmark, but it is an idea that arose from indigenous practice and also can be found in tons of different spiritual, self help, and psychological teachings. It came from the idea of really “remembering who you are” or finding your divinity. Kymatica talks a lot about this lost off divinity. The idea is sort of simple though in terms of application…it is that you ask others to listen to you as your highest self, or as they say in landmark as your “possibility”, or more simply, as the person you want to be (who in fact you already are!).
I asked that the whole group decide how they want to be listened to and we all went around and did this. Even in an incredibly unconditionally loving group, our perception certainly colors how we see one another, especially when you are sharing your most vulnerable and sometimes dark moments. Although I think we have an incredible level of respect for and think so very highly of one another, perhaps we see each other as these “downfalls”, or as our “lower selves” at times. This can happen with everyone….family, friends, etc. How many times do you think you “know” how someone is or expect them to act in a way that might not be serving them or you. This really gives very little room for them or you to grow. It is not intentional of course, it is simply a mechanism of evolutionary survival…but now is the time that we are becoming aware of these things so that we can evolve to the next step and make a choice as opposed to letting our conditioning or domestication decide for us. Even though it is all about how we percieve things in our own mind, when someone around you creates a space for you to be great, magic really can happen..even when you don’t feel so great.
So, I wanted to share this simple idea and how you could apply it and I will use me as an example. With my cousin being here, and being much younger than I, I have felt a struggle between being mothering and being a friend/confidant for her. So, I have been quite stressed, scared, worried and overwhelmed this last week since her arrival to live with me (see here for more). Of course I am happy, excited and grateful at the same time that she is here! But, these sort of bi-polar feelings are a sudden and extreme shift from the what has been more consistant tranformative, empowered, and inspired feelings. It has also brought up all sorts of issues both good and bad, that I remember from being her age.
While my situation has inspired my work as an artist, it feels a bit scattered/confusing and it has interrupted my new years intentions to get really focused on my spirituality, body work and production of new music right now. So, I asked everyone to see me as a “focused, constant and inspired music maker and friend”. (Making music involves spiritual and body work so, that is kinda encompassed in this statement – less is more, helps to remember!)
This would allow me to be the best I can for my cousin, and the best I can for me and my purpose. So the idea is that everyone in the group agrees to see me in this way, when they are listening to me, when they think of me, etc. And, when they see me not BEING this way, they are to remind me of what I created and how they are committed to seeing me, or listening to me as this. (See by mention of BEING in the sex article, this can help you get what I mean by being.) This is somewhat similar to theories about the law of attraction as well but I think easier than trying to “control thoughts”. I find the thoughts start changing when you start focusing on how you want to be.
We use this idea in my business, (Nakturnal), a lot after we all did the Landmark Forum and I think it has profound effects. It is a little new for us and it certainly takes practice but, I have seen it work like magic!
So, perhaps you can ask the people you love to see you the way you want to be seen or to listen to you as that. Ask them to envision that you ARE that, being that way, all the time. Remind them often. It is a gift I imagine many people would like to give you. Of course we are still human and may go back to old perceptions when our “mental advisors” play tricks, but then you just have to remind them again of what they agreed to. And, to be fair and karmic about it, ask them how they want to be listened to so that a give and take can add a level of accountability and fun to the whole process.
I hope I don’t sound “preachy” in my posts, I just want to offer ideas. End of day, what works for you, works for you, and I love the idea that this might assist you….just like I was told these things and found peace and joy by applying them.
I already feel so much better about my situation and actually wrote a whole song during our gathering! Proof!
LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU Always!~